After going through the motions for several years, I have come to a place in my life where some things are not worth fighting for. I say this because as many times as I have tried to be peaceful and keep everyone around me happy, it wasn’t working for me. I felt like I was putting so much energy into a situation that was sucking the life out of me. I cannot say that I was completely unhappy because I had a lot of good things going for me. I had my career, I was standing on my own and brought myself a new car. I was happy to have been rebuilding my life the way I wanted it to be built. The only part of my life that I could not control or had a grip on was the relationship with my ex because he was unpredictable. Once I accepted the fact that he was who he was, I knew that no matter whatever I did to keep him happy or “at bay” would never be good enough for him. With the next understanding, I decided it was time for me to move and that is exactly what I did.
At my old apartment there were times where I would be arriving home from work and I would catch him in the parking lot sitting there. The very first time that happened, I was shocked and a little scared. I thought it was a one time thing but it kept happening. I finally started looking for a new place to live. Not only because of my ex but because of a neighbor of mine with whom I had a short relationship with. I’ll talk about that a little later. During my search for a new apartment, I came across several places that I liked. Most of them had long waiting lists. At this point, I thought it would be a good idea to move into an apartment with my sister. We were both looking and found something that was a bit of a distance from where I was currently staying. I started the application and during the process, I decided that it would not be a good idea to move in with my sister. I’m not going to lie, when I told my sister, she was really upset with me and she didn’t speak to me for almost a year after that. I didn’t blame her. She found the location of the apartment. She was prepared to go half on the bills and the down payment but deep down inside, I knew it was not a good idea.
I completed the application process, made the down payment and received the keys to my new apartment. What I did not do was tell my ex-husband where I was going to be living. I wanted freedom and peace. I wanted to rebuild my relationship with my children. I wanted to start all the way over and begin my healing process because I was broken to my core. I did not want to live a life where I was constantly looking over my shoulders, wondering who was watching me, in fear or wondering when would be the next time he would act up. I knew I had to walk this journey of healing alone and I had to find myself. I had been recently cleared of all charges, the child support modification had kicked it and things were starting to look good again. I received the keys to my new apartment and I was ready to move in.
Time to find some boxes, get a moving truck and pack up my things. I was leaving my small and cozy one bedroom apartment and moving into a three bedroom two bathroom apartment. I was so excited, until I realized that I was going to move all of these things by myself. When I moved in the one bedroom, I didn’t have any furniture so it was easy for me to move. This time, I had furniture and a lot of other things that I needed to move. I knew that I needed help moving but didn’t have many options. I did the next best thing and called my sister, her husband, and their children to assist me with moving. Also, my apartment was on the second floor and I needed help carrying everything up the stairs. Lucky for me, my sisters husband was willing to help me with all of that.
Finally, it was time to go…..
Divorced. Now What? 